


Can't

by addictmarchingtothesea



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Blowjobs, Cuddles, Deep conversations under the stars beside a pool because im a generic ass tumblr wannabe, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, I honestly have no idea what the fuck im doing, M/M, Running Away, Ryden (bc im trash), Screaming, Smut, Some weed smoking, Spoiler alert: they all get high in brendon and ryans living room, a shit ton of angst, idk - Freeform, joshler - Freeform, poor jishwa, poor tyjo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-02 11:38:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10217186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictmarchingtothesea/pseuds/addictmarchingtothesea
Summary: Josh just wanted to make Tyler feel loved.Tyler just wanted to get out.Josh was willing to run across the country so Tyler could could get away from it all. For good.Life doesn't like that plan.





	1. "Get out of my house"

**Author's Note:**

> meh. I had an idea so i was like why not. Maybe ill add more chapters, see where it goes.

 

   Tyler's dad opened the door to the brunette's room. He saw Tyler's fingers tangled in bubblegum pink hair. Mouths moving together. Two boys whipped their heads to face him with terror on their faces.  _For good damn reason,too._

"Please, sir. Please don't hurt him. Hit me instead. It's my fault, please."Josh pleaded with Tyler's rage encapsulated father.

    **"** GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" No son of his was going to be fag.

   Tyler was crying on the floor with a red lash mark across his face.  _Just go, please Josh._ He mouthed from across the bedroom.

    His father saw him trying to communicate, and quickly brought and end to the endeavour by slinging his belt against Tyler again. The brunette cried out in agony as the leather burned his skin.

    "SHUT UP FAGGOT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET"He kicked Tyler in the ribs, Tyler's voice was too strained to even scream anymore, so all that came out were helpless whimpers. Josh fought  back tears, seeing the innocent, beautiful boy he loved being beat before his eyes, and not being able to do anything.

    **"** DUN, I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. NOW DAMMIT!"

 

 

    With that, Mr. Joseph grabbed Josh's arm, twisting it violently before shoving him out of the room and slamming the door. He didnt know what else to do, so he ran. Down the stairs, hesitating at the door. He still heard Tyler screaming.

_Please dad, pleasepleasepleasenononopleasestopAAAAAHHH_

_I SAID TO SHUT THE FUCK UP_

Josh ran. He ran until his lungs burned hotter than the fury of the homophobic man hurting  _his Tyler._ He ran all the way home. Thats all he ever did. Run. Thats the only way to get away from problems.

 

   Josh cried himself to sleep that night.

 

 


	2. "Please wake up"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cute lil cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo i continued it. I really have no idea where this is gonna go so ill add more tags as the story moves. I also started using quotation marks for dialogue because i understand the other way was a little confusing. By the way, i referred to Tyler as a fawnlette based from a fic i ADORE called Wildflower by fkeyouout. Its amaaazing. Please go check it out its so beautiful. Anyway I'm rambling and kudos to you if you're still reading these notes XD.

    "Josh, Josh please.Please wake up."

    He felt a soft breath on his back and gentle fingers prodding his shoulder. Josh gathered the energy to roll over, bracing for the ache in his arm to surface from where Mr. Joseph had thrown him out. 

    "Josh. JoshJosh please im sorry. I came through the, the window and uh- but i need to get out. He-he's uh-......"

   The voice sounded urgent. Josh opened his heavy eyes to see his little fawnlette, black and blue, crouched beside his bed.

    "Tyler? Tyler! Oh my god are you okay??"

    "I. I uh...u-...." Tyler began to shake and cry. Not a few seconds after that he was hyperventilating.  _Panic attack._

    "Tyler? You need to breathe for me, okay? Listen. In...1...2...3......Out...1...2...3. Good, good. You can do it. Okay?"

     Tyler wiped his eyes and sniffed. "I- I'm so sor- rry. I let hi- him hurt y-you, Josh."

     "Baby, you didn't do any of this okay? None of it is your fault. I shouldn't have run and left you...I'm really sorry...I-.... Come here" Josh spread his arms.

    The brunette accepted Josh's offer and climbed under the stiff comforter. His shaking body tingled with the sensation of warmth and defrost after the sharp wind bit at him walking down the street to Josh's house. This was his only chance to get out since his father hurled an empty whiskey bottle at his shoulder before passing out on the couch.

     He quickly melted into his lover's body, curling up and nuzzling his face into Josh's bare chest, since the older boy never slept with a shirt on.

    Josh enveloped Tyler with his arms, trying to surround him with all the love he felt inside. Tyler deserved all the love and warmth in the world. More than Josh could ever express. He didn't deserve a sorry, drunk ass deadbeat like his excuse for a father. Tyler still showed compassion and gentleness to everyone around him, even when he had every excuse to do the opposite.  

    Gentle boys like him shouldn't be covered in purple and blue. They shouldn't have a scar on their shoulder from where broken whiskey glass shards intruded their smooth, beautiful tan skin. They shouldn't have red and pink lines on their wrists and thighs.

    Even though Tyler thought he deserved it all, Josh knew  _damn well_ he didn't. So he spent an hour whispering sweet nothings into the gentle boy's ear, and drawing him close, reaching over his waist to drawing silly patterns into his lower back, and tracing his fingers up the brunette's spine in an attempt to soothe the marks and broken skin there.

     Tyler cried himself to sleep that night, also.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :/ sorry if there are typos. my keyboard is really screwy.


	3. "Where's Tyler"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sold matresses yesterday. Then i ate a taco. Random.

     Josh stared down at the adorable creature asleep against his chest. Fluffy chestnut hair was tousled about. Barely there freckles created little constellations under his closed eyes. Sunlight is filtered by long, dark eyelashes resting on flushed cheekbones. One of which had a purple bruise staining it. How could anyone hurt such a beautiful little thing with such a heart of gold?

    Previously mentioned eyelashes flutter open to unveil little chocolate irises, surrounded in crystal eye whites. A cute little smile sneaks its way onto ever slightly chapped, rosy pink lips, turning the corners up, pushing up his cheeks. All making him the poster child of _raw fucking beauty._

"Morning, sunshine" Josh cooed.

    Tyler let out a musical giggle which could've lit up the darkest depths of every trench on earth with the brilliance of a thousand suns. 

"Morning" Tyler whispered in a raspy voice. Probably from the screaming last night... 

    The thought filled Josh with anger and hate for Tyler's father.

_Fucking bastard thinks it's okay to just abuse this angel like a damn punch bag just because he likes boys. He's the real abomination._

 

  But right now, all Josh could and wanted to do was cook some food for his fawnlette.

    "You want something to eat?"

    "Sure"

    The boys crept downstairs quietly, trying not to wake Josh's parents. 

    After one spilled bowl of cereal, almost setting the kitchen on fire because of toast, and a having pancake batter splattered everywhere, they decided on pop tarts. With the way things were going, attempting eggs would be too dangerous. It was a miracle Mr. and Mrs. Dun hadn't arisen to scold Josh for all the noise.

    Josh swiped the tip of Tyler's nose with a tiny bit of pancake batter. "Poptarts it is then."

    And Tyler giggled again.

    After they had eaten, they held back fits of laughter as they cleaned the huge mess they made. Just as they were returning the Swiffer mop to the closet and wiping down the counter, there came a knock at the door.

    Josh instinctively responds."I'll get it"

    From the kitchen Tyler hears a low, growling voice.

    "Where.is.Tyler.??"

_Oh god it's him. Oh god he's gonna hurt Josh because of me and-_

"AAAH" Josh hissed and held his palm to his face.

    "DON'T LIE TO ME I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS " 

    "What's going on?" Josh's mother and father come running down the hall to where the door was. 

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. YOUR SON HERE-" Mr. Joseph stopped when Tyler walked out from behind Josh, hanging his head low.

    "I'm sorry, Dad." Tyler managed to get out over the lump forming in his throat. 

"SORRY?! YOU THINK SORRY IS GONNA-" Tyler's father paused again when he noticed the look that Josh's parents were giving him. He sighed. "Tyler, just come home. I'm not gonna do anything, just get back to the house."

    "Okay. Thank you, Dad." He looked at Josh one more time before reluctantly heading out the door.  _Sorry._

    Tyler was too trusting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh lort


	4. "Hello Tyler"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching Dan and Phil all morning bc WE'RE OUT OF SCHOOL TODAYYYY

    Tyler's father slammed the door behind them, walking into their house. 

    "You son of a BITCH" He grabbed Tyler by the neck of his T-shirt.Tyler winced. He knew what was coming next.

    "You think you can just walk out of this house while I'm not paying attention?!" He slammed his hand across his son's cheek and threw him to the floor.

    "No, but I can when you're passed out on the couch with a bottle in your hand." Tyler couldn't believe he was  _actually talking back._  

    "Did you JUST-OH YOU HAD THE NERVE TO TALK BACK, BITCH?! Bad move, son. VERY bad move." He slipped his belt from around his waist and approached his son.

    Tyler scooted back across the hardwood floor in a desperate attempt to get away. 

    "Oh, trying to get away from me now,huh? YOU CAN'T!". Mr. Joseph raised the belt above his head to sling it down across Tyler's torso. "Get back over here!" He grabbed Tyler's hair and dragged him into the corner.

     Tyler screwed his eyes shut as black leather stung and burned his skin. It wasn't even that painful, he was used to it. It was just the fear of what would happen next that scared him and kept him from attempting to fight back.

    "Now I told you if I EVER caught you again with that Dun boy, I wasn't going to go as easy on you, DIDN'T I ?!" 

    Tyler nodded weakly as his father gripped his hair again and yanked him into the living room. "Stay right here! If I come back and you've moved a muscle, its going to get far, FAR worse." With that, Mr. Joseph went back to the kitchen for a moment. 

    Tyler laid alone on the rug in the living room. He eyeballed the phone on top of the mantel and debated with himself.  _Just three numbers. 9-1-1, that's all you gotta do. That's either going to save you from this hell, or push you deeper into it. Maybe he won't catch you, maybe-_

    A painful blow from some kind of object struck his hand just before he could reach the phone.

    "I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE, MOTHERFUCKER" Mr. Joseph chuckled a little. "You really think they're gonna believe you? Hah, boy, it's your word against mine. I'm a deacon at that church down the road. They wouldn't give a fuck what you say about me, it wouldn't matter. That Dun boy's parents are just as clueless as they could be, too. You've done it now. Oh yeah."

    Tyler's father raised a wooden bat above his head. Tyler curled up bracing for the impact, and it came, leaving a very powerful dull ache in his right arm, and him shaking and sobbing in his position. Then he heard the sound of wood clattering to the floor, and sniffs and sobs which weren't his own. He looked to his side to see his dad kneeling on the floor with his head in his hands. Tyler's eyes widened as he swallowed, still shaking and much too frightened to speak,whimper,anything.

    "I- I'm ss-so so-sorry, Tyler" the man on the floor choked out. "Co- come sit d-down." He pointed to the couch. Tyler still in the mindset of not doing  _anything_ to disobey his father. So he got up, along with his father and sat down on the couch, careful not to do anything to set him off. Mr. Joseph began to cry harder and choke on his tears again in an attempt to speak 

    "Ever, ever s-since I l-lost, Z-ach, I-..."

    Now  _that_ made Tyler mad. Mad enough to throw every precaution he had taken out the window and jump off the couch.

    "DON'T YOU _DARE_ USE ZACH AS AN EXCUSE FOR THIS!"

    "Tyler, I-"

     "NO! YOU ARE GONNA LISTEN TO  _ME_ FOR ONCE! MAY I REMIND YOU THAT YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE TO LOSE ZACH ON THE INTERSTATE THAT DAY! YOU DIDN'T JUST LOSE YOUR SON TO THAT DAMN ACCIDENT, I LOST MY BROTHER. MOM LOST HER BABY BOY! BUT WE DIDN'T TAKE IT OUT ON OUR FAMILY. YOU KNOW WHAT WE DID? WE PRAYED, AND GREIVED, AND _WENT_ TO THE GOD DAMN FUNERAL, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? YOU WENT TO THE FUCKING _BAR_  DURING YOUR  _OWN SON'S MEMORIAL SERVICE!_ YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

    "Tyler, I-"

    "NO! I dont wanna fucking hear your bullshit." With that Tyler stormed out the back door of the house into the woods, running.  _Had he actually said all that?_ Whatever he had said, it felt good to say. Something felt, missing though. like-

     **Hello, Tyler.**

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go get some KFC....


	5. "You're such a goner"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short filler chapter. To anyone actually interested in this fic, (thank you for reading and commenting) and I apologize for not updating for days. I may end up posting tomorrow depending in the homework situation (I hate algebra with a fucking passion)

"WHAT THE FUCK DO  _YOU_ WANT FROM ME?!"

**Oh, just the usual. You know, pick up the mail, drop off your laundry, _tell you to kill yourself._**

Tyler keeps trudging through the thick trees and huffs at his tormentor's attempt at dry humor. "What else is new?" He retorts. And after a moment of silence, Blurry speaks again.

**You should've left a note.**

"For what?" He clearly knew what Blurry meant, but he wanted to see where this was gonna go.

**You know exactly why. Like the one you read from your mom right before they found her floating in the riv-**

"FUCK OFF! I'm,... I'm not going to- ...I'm just going to the treehouse."

**Awww that's cute. You think I'll leave because you tell me to. Nice try, kid. But I don't think so. I come when I want. I leave when I want. Have you forgotten _I'm_ the one in control here? You belong to  _me._ I  _own you._**

Tyler nodded reluctantly. And Blurry stopped walking, staring Tyler dead in the eye.

 **I'm serious. I could have had you dead a _long_ time ago if I wanted. ** With that, he began waking again. Tyler stared.

"So why didn't you?" 

**What would've been the fun in that?**

Tyler huffed once again. "Please, you  _couldn't_ because I was still taking the medicine."

**True, they shortened our little talks. However, darling, don't you know? Those drugs only silence me when you take them _all at the same time._**

Tyler swallowed the lump in his throat and replied weakly. "Whatever"

**One more sarcastic remark from you and you'll end up like your mom-**

"SHUT.UP!"

Blurry snickered as Tyler fell to his knees on the dead leaves and underbrush beneath him, shaking and whimpering.  _"No, no. Mom I'm s-sorry- no,no."_

**Ah, you're such a goner.**

" _I,...I know"_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a taco


	6. "Down in the forest"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got back from a really cool (fairly) local renissance festival and i LOVED it. btw sorry for not posting the other day like I said I'd do. :\

     _"_ **SHUT UP!** _"_

As soon as Josh heard the faint screaming he pulled his shoes on in record time. He had been on pins and needles since Tyler left with that  _monster._ He knew that Tyler's dad didn't mean it when he said he wouldn't do anything.

The thing was, if he said anything to someone, that person would have laughed in his face and reminded him  _yet again_ that Mr. Joseph was a deacon at the (fairly) local church. No one would believe him. But, he understood why Tyler never spoke up either. He was probably afraid that if that person didn't believe him, word would get to his father and then god knows if he would even  _survive_ the following beating.

 Josh flew down the stairs and out the door, ignoring his mother's questioning of his intended whereabouts. He ran so hard he nearly tripped over a tree root on his way to follow the screams.

He desperately scanned the woods encasing him. There was something that always seemed haunting about this place, as if one day the trees would reach their gnarly roots and vines to tangle and snake themselves around him and drag him below the earth. 

Josh was breathing heavy. The world around him started to spin in a blur of brown and olive green. Suddenly the hums and chirps of the forest pounded in his ears and the sunlight being filtered through the branches mixed in with the rest of the colors in a blinding image of panic.

_No, not now. Calm down. Calm down. Tyler may need you. You aren't going to let him suffer again because you're a scared little bitch. Not again. Calm down. Calm down for Tyler._

Josh slowed his breathing sank to his knees until things stopped spinning. 

" **Down in the forest"**

_Tyler. That was Tyler. Tyler sings when he thinks he's alone._

**"We'll sing a chorus"**

Josh rose from his crouched position where the dead leaves crunched beneath him. Something mixed with the singing, like crying. 

**"One that everybody knows"**

Josh strained his ears to figure out where the angelic voice of his fawnlette was coming from. Wait,  _treehouse._

And once again, Josh ran, following the choked sobs coming from the treehouse. 

**"Heads held higher, we'll be on fire! Singing songs that nobody wrote!"**

 After a few mere seconds more of running, Josh didn't hesitate to bound up the ladder and pop up through the door.

 "Tyler? Tyler!"

The brunette was curled up in the furthest corner of the room. He lifted his head and tear streaked face to meet Josh's eyes. Josh wasted no time rushing over and dropping to his knees. He pulled the shaking boy into his side. Tyler more than willingly obliged and rested his face in the crook of the bubblegum haired boy's neck and trying to hold back his crying. However, that attempt failed and warm tears snaked down from his cheeks, to Josh's collarbone, triggering a reaction from the elder boy to hug Tyler even tighter.

Josh had saved him, on more than one occasion. He rested in his savior's arms, wondering why God thought that he deserved Josh. Whatever the reason, Tyler was thankful. He'd pay the creator back someday.

And there they lie, on the old, splintering wood, listening to the hum of the forest and silently appreciating each other. Because one could not exist without the other, they were made for each other and that's all that mattered in that moment. 

Josh saved Tyler. Tyler saved Josh.

They saved each other. That's all that mattered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my little sister is sick and Ive got a trip to Virginia next week so I hope I dont catch anything. I know this chapter was shit I apologize, I just haven't updated since Tuesday. Someone fairly close to my family died and I just haven't been in the writing mood. But thank you for bearing with me :)


	7. "Two weeks"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an idea, so I thought I'd see where it went. I know, I haven't updated in over a week, I apologize. I wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue this idea or not, but I have nothing else.

 Josh stared out the window into an inky black abyss heavily peppered with constellations and sparkling stars. They had fallen asleep in the treehouse tucked away in the thick forest behind the neighborhood houses.

His mother was going to have a fit when he returned in the morning, but it was worth it. More than worth it actually, because Tyler needed him at that moment. Josh had always needed Tyler. So of course, he wasn't going to leave the boy he loved so dearly alone. Not again. Not after that night. Not  _ever again._ Tyler was his little sunshine he prayed to rise every morning. Speaking of which, what time was it? Josh reach over for his phone in the corner, careful not to wake the brunette curled up between his legs and resting on his chest.

  _2:30 AM_

They still had awhile. Josh glanced at the adorable creature nuzzled into his body. The pale, silvery light sneaking through the dark window cast delicate shadows across Tyler's face. His shoulders softly rose and fell as soft little warm breaths slipped from between those rosy, slightly dry lips. In and out, a fragile rhythm as delicate as the maker himself. Josh tried not to stir him, but twirled his fluffy chocolate locks between his fingers ever-so-gently. Josh smiled because  _damn this boy was beautiful._

Josh snapped out of his eye-sex when his fawnlette shifted in his lap, inhaling sharply and clutching the hem of Josh's shirt. Josh frowned a bit when Tyler's shirt rode up a bit, exposing dark purple marks under a sliver of light on his torso. Tyler sniffed and a tear traveled from under closed eyelashes, towards his cheekbone and down his cheek. Josh tightened his grip around his lover. Honey colored irises reveal themselves from under the same origins as the tear and the bubblegum haired boy connects his gaze to the gentle boy's. 

"Hey, hey it's okay. Shh its alright. I'm here, I'm here, you aren't alone. Right here." Josh cooed. 

Tyler sniffed again. "Josh, I ne-need to get out. Out of h-ere." He was choking on his words.

Josh carded his fingers through Tyler's hair in a way to somehow soothe the shaking boy against his body.

"We can go to my house. Is that okay?"

Tyler shook his head and wiped his eyes.

"No, I m-mean, get  _out of here._ Out of this house, this city. This  _life_ , Josh."

"Don't talk like that-"

Tyler's shoulders shook again and his hung his head. "But I deserve it all. That's the worst part, Josh. I'm such a terrible person. I- I don't know why you even bother, I-"

Josh cut him off as he grabbed the back of Tyler's head and pressing his lips to Tyler's with the most passion and love as his body possessed, trying to explain all he couldn't with words with his tongue. Tyler obliged, opening his bottom lip further, allowing Josh to slip his tongue in. When they ran out of air, they pulled away, panting. 

"Tyler, you are so worth it. You are the last person in the entire fucking universe to  _ever_  deserve the shit you went through. Do you understand me? I love you more than I love life. I need you on this earth in order for it to have any point. So if you wanna get out, we get out together. Please."

Tyler broke down, heaving again. 

"Your eighteenth birthday is in like, two weeks. Okay? Two weeks, we get out of this place, alright? I've got money saved. You and me, okay? We're gonna get out. Don't worry. We'll be alright, I promise." He rocked the younger boy back and forth to comfort him. And he meant every word he said. They were getting out. Two weeks.

They were going to be okay. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you like where it's going or nah? (wow I actually just said 'or nah') I'd really appreciate comments telling me if you like the approach I'm taking, because I feel a little lost if I don't have any communication. Thanks for listening to me babble, by the way. I should probably shut my mouth now, but thank you so much for taking your time to read my fic! :)


	8. Time to say Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. We have a REALLY bad thunderstorm today so we're out of school today. So, why not write?

Tyler's eighteenth birthday was nothing really special. He'd basically been raising himself and tending to his dad for the last five years or so. But this was the first time in a long time he was excited. He and Josh had a plan. He was legal to leave this place because he wasn't bound to it by the term "minor" any longer. He felt guilty, however. He was leaving his father all alone. This was selfish. He should be beaten to death for wanting to get away.But deep down, he knew that this "family" was never really going to heal. Tyler didn't want to cause the man any pain, but he so desperately wanted to move on. Just to forget. This is what was best. That's what Josh said,anyway.

Oh no. What about Josh's parents? True, Josh was eighteen and they couldn't make him stay there, but they had always been so nice and hospitable to Tyler. Maybe they _shouldn-_ no. Now was not the time to be second guessing. 

He checked his phone.

_2:30 AM_

Thirty minutes. Tyler ran through the list of things he'd packed, careful not to forget anything. Everything he could physically fit into that suitcase and a duffle bag had been stuffed in as tight as possible. Before he could give it a second thought, he rummaged through his bedside drawer for a pen and a notepad. 

_Please know that I am safe. Don't worry about me. I'm sorry about doing this, but I couldn't handle it here any longer.I had to leave. I forgive you, and I pray that someday you can do the same for me. Goodbye, father._

With that, the left the note still attached to the notepad. He slung his duffle bag upon his shoulder and gripped the handle of the suitcase. With the little bit of strength his abused body still had somewhere tucked in his muscles, he lifted it and quietly hurried down the stairs.

As he stood in the living room, Tyler took time to look around at his childhood home. The only problem, this wasn't the home he grew up in anymore.

Because this  _house_ had broken whiskey glass shards under the dent in the wall. This  _house_  reeked of alcohol. This  _house_ had Tyler's blood on the floor of every room, whether that was caused by his father, or himself. This **house**  was where Tyler spent years in pain, physical and emotional, waiting for God to take him  _away. Just die._

Tyler snapped out of it though, when Josh's headlights washed over him through the window, creating stripes on him because of the slightly open blinds, something that used to fascinate him as a kid.

This  _house_ wasn't holding him back any longer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd tell you I probably won't be updating as often. Its that time of year with exams and stuff. But I definitely will try my best. As always, comments are appreciated! Its easier to write when you know that people are interested in the plot. I wasn't really planning on doing this idea so I would love to know if you like it or not. Thank you so much for reading! <3
> 
> Stay Alive |-/


	9. The Run and Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip+arriving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I haven't updated in like a week. I feel like a careless hooligan but I wrote this between today and yesterday. I hope to have a next chapter out in a couple of days but its exam season so I'll try my best.

"Where are we going?" Tyler inquired. Yes, he and Josh had made a plan to run away, but Josh told him not to worry about the details until it got closer to the time. 

"I've got a friend in Vegas. It's a _really_ long way, but this is the only place right now I'm willing to trust with yours and my safety. He said we could live with him and his boyfriend as long as we need. I've known him for years so don't worry your pretty little head. We'll be fine" Josh smiled at Tyler. 

Tyler frowned again."What about your parents?"

Josh kept his eyes on the road before him. "I didn't want to tell you, but I told them about the whole thing. About your dad, about leaving, everything. After some convincing, they agreed that this may be the best thing. For both of us. They are okay with it."

The brunette tensed up in his seat. "T-they aren't gonna tell the-"

"No, baby. They won't tell anyone. I explained that your dad may try to find us if the authorities confronted him." 

Tyler sighed with relief. He didn't have to worry. Josh was so damn good to him. "Thank you, Josh. You have no idea how much this means to me. What can I ever do to repay you?"

The bubble-gum haired boy smiled again at his fawnlette. "Just keep loving me." 

Tyler giggled. "Giving me the easy job, huh?"

Josh turned to focus on the road again,but kept smiling. "Call it what you want. Now get some sleep, love. You can rest easy now."

And that's exactly what Tyler did. He curled up on his side and for the first time in years, he could sleep without the fear of what was to come from the drunken man who raised him at 3 AM.

 

 

 

 

After countless stops at Chevron's and Texaco stations adorned with lots of red bulls and two stops for food at local pancake houses, the pair finally crossed into Nevada after a long about 34 hours.

But even after all this, only one thing really stood out in Josh's memory. And that was that Tyler was a  _damn_ beautiful sleeper. Of course he had known this before, but something about the first light of day casting through the window across his tan skin as his rosy bubble gum lips parted ever so slightly, and his fluffy, chocolate hair all messy and his curled up position making him look so content, it was the only thing Josh could think about. He almost didn't want to wake the sleeping beauty when they pulled up in front of the beautiful, ocean grey, two story house which would be their destination. However, they could sleep inside in a real bed after they went in. 

"Ty" the bubble gum haired boy whispered, giving the other boy's shoulder a gentle push. 

The brunette inhaled, unfurling from his compacted position in the passenger seat. After a second or so, his little chocolate irises peeked out from under their veil of dark, thick lashes. Before Tyler could really assess himself, a yawn escaped his throat, sounding a lot more kitten-like than he'd intended. 

"Ty. Wake up, darling." Josh cooed. 

"hmmmm" The younger provided in a sleepy response. 

"We're here" Josh beamed. 

It didn't take Tyler long to recall everything and gaze upon the house. Woah. It was gorgeous. The vibrant green lawn popped with color, there were a bundle of trees on either side, leading into the back. An array of red, orange and pink semitropical flowers accompanying the palm tree beside the carport. The house itself was the color of a young winter bird's down, with black shutters on the windows. 

"C'mon. Let's get inside. You can sleep there."

Tyler nodded and stretched again before getting out of the car. Both boys slung their bags over their shoulders and extended the handle on their suitcases. They rolled their belongings up the steps and onto the porch. Josh pushed the doorbell and quietly waited for an answer. 

_Awesome they're here!_

Tyler watched as a really handsome looking guy wearing black skinny jeans, a Green Day tshirt, black framed glasses, and a grey beanie opened the door (ironic) with a huge grin.

"Josh!"

"Brendon!"

The two embraced and as they parted, Brendon diverted his attention to the smaller figure beside Josh. 

"Hi there. I'm Brendon. You must be Tyler?" he said, extending his hand. 

Tyler nodded and shook hands. 

"Oh I totally forgot. RYYYAAAAN" Brendon cupped his hand to his mouth and called back into the house. Another boy appeared behind the taller man. A light grey T-shirt hung off of his slim form, accompanied by black combat boots and matching skinny jeans.

"This is my boyfriend Ryan." Brendon stated, gesturing towards the brunette with slightly spiky hair behind him. Ryan waved shyly.

"Um. Hi"

"This is Josh and Tyler. The ones I told you would be living with us for a while."

Ryan smiled. "That's cool. We've got your room set up. I uh, really hope you don't mind sharing. One bedroom is mine and Brendon's and the other is for you."

Tyler smiled. "I don't mind at all." He was going to get to be with Josh every night, and he didn't have to worry about sneaking through windows or waking someone. They could just  _be together._

 "Oh shit! What am I doing standing here? Come in, come in." Brendon guided them inside.

From the gleam in Tyler's eyes and the expression of child like joy on his face, Josh could tell they were both going to _really_  like it here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do a whole road trip chapter but it would've taken so long to write because something happened this weekend and I thought writing would help me feel better but I was at a block and this is kind of a filler. I hope I can produce more plot moving chapters soon. Please let me know in the comments if any of you are still interested or some ideas on what you'd like to see happen in the story. Thank you and as always, Stay Alive |-/


	10. "Brendon... as in Brendon Urie?!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAIT ARE YOU WHO I THINK YOU ARE XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo we made to ten chapters! As you know, I have no updating schedule because I'm a lazy, uncultured swine with exams, but I finally had the time and energy to write. Yaay

"Alright. I imagine you are both dead ass tired, so would you prefer the house tour now or after a nap?" 

Josh looked down at Tyler smiling so big with such awe and wonder, taking in his surroundings. 

They currently stood in a mountain cabin style living room. The ceiling hung high above their heads. A long, brown leather couch wrapped into a square around a glossy, wooden coffee table in front of a huge flat screen TV hung on a wall made of perfectly fit together logs. One thing, Josh noticed, was that Tyler began to stare at the wall, as if he were in deep thought. He simply brushed it off however and brought Tyler out of his little trance by nudging him gently.

"It's up to you, Ty. Whichever you feel like."

Tyler snapped out of it. "Oh. Uh, could we maybe do it now?"

Brendon smiled and nodded. "Of course! Follow me."

He led them down a hall to the right. Tyler took time to look at some records in shadow box cases on the wall. There were also some posters lined up, and somehow they looked familiar... _Panic! at the Disco..._

_Waaait a second...wasn't that band's singer named Br-_

_HOLY SHIT_

"Wait. A-Are you the Brendon from P-Panic at the Di-sco?

Brendon turned around and grinned. "Could you tell?" 

Tyler stopped in his tracks and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. All of it made sense. Ryan, the huge house, the familiar names and faces that Tyler hadn't quite been able to put his finger on. Now you may be wondering why this hadn't clicked sooner. Well see Tyler hadn't been allowed to do much of anything, even before his whole family situation started, including listen to secular music. But of course, he just had to be sneaky about it. Sometimes his school friends would share their mp3 with him during lunch and they'd listen to P!ATD, Fall Out Boy, etc.

"JOSH YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE WERE MOVING IN WITH TWO OF THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE ON THE EARTH"

Josh laughed. "Told you not to worry about the details, didn't I? Besides, I knew it'd be fun to see you figure it out"

Tyler's jaw dropped and his eyes widened, soaking in his realization.

By now, Brendon and Ryan were laughing hysterically, to the point of tears.

"GOD I WISH I HAD THAT ON FUCKING VIDEO!" Brendon exclaimed. 

After quite a few more giggles, five minutes of them to be specific, the group walked into the kitchen, followed by the bathrooms, bedrooms, mini studio, game room (poker, pool, cards table, etc.) and the outdoor pool and spa(Tyler was especially excited about this). After about an hour and a half, the tour was finished.

Tyler yawned as they headed back to he and Josh's bedroom. When they removed their shoes, too tired to shower or change, they crawled into their queen size bed together, pulling the covers up to their shoulders. Josh had removed his shirt, it was more comfortable that way. Tyler latched onto him like a koala, swinging his leg across Josh's hips and hugging his abdomen. The bubble gum haired boy pecked a kiss on Tyler's forehead. The brunette then shifted in his position to press a long, hard kiss to his lover's mouth. 

Yeah, they were  _definitely_ going to like it here.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could write cuddles more fluffily. *sigh*


	11. "We're gonna be okay, I promise"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, fluff. I HAVE TOO SENSITIVE OF A HEART TO BE ABLE TO WRITE HARDCORE ANGST WITHOUT A FLUFFY ENDING OKAY? I'D RATHER BE A SHITTY WRITER THAN A HEARTLESS ONE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE FOUND A SMOL PUPPER AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE AND HE'S SO PRECIOUS

_"THIS IS WHAT FAGGOTS LIKE YOU GET"_

_"AAAHH- D-DAD P-LEASE" Tyler cried out. Please, someone, anyone, just hear him._

_Tyler's father raised the the belt again, hitting Tyler in the chest with the buckle._

_"SHUT UP BITCH"_

_"FFFFUCK" Tyler hissed as he was struck once again._

_Mr. Joseph then grabbed his already-lit cigarette from the ashtray on the coffee table. He yanked Tyler up from his curled position in the corner by the hair and took a drag before blowing the smoke in Tyler's face, making him cough violently. He didn't hesitate to flick the ashes onto boy and press the searing hot end of the cigarette to Tyler's neck as the boy choked and yelped in pain. The man released his hold on Tyler's hair, replacing it with a death grip on his collar._

_"THESE BETTER BE THE ONLY MARKS I SEE ON YOU CAUSED BY ANOTHER MAN. UNDERSTAND, FAGGOT?"_

_"Y-yyess sir" Tyler manged before his father released his hold on Tyler altogether, simply letting him collapse to the floor. He stayed in that position, not daring to move until Mr. Joseph's footsteps grew distant, until he was gone. He headed to the bathroom. Quickly, he stripped, avoiding looking at the wounds. As he stepped under the hot stream of water, he nearly screamed had he had the voice to. His skin burned and stung as he rushed to cut off the water. After he'd accomplished that, he laid back in the tub, just wanting to die. 'Let me die. Why won't you let me die?' And the brunette began to cry._

 Tyler woke up sweating and shaking terribly. Where was he? Why was Josh here? Oh no, was his dad here? What would he do to Josh? Oh fuck, it was all his fault. Where was the bathroom again? 

Tyler shifted out of the bed and padded down the hall of the unfamiliar house in a confused state. His mind was clouded and fogged with panic and fear and he just needed to find a bathroom, somewhere alone. He found a door halfway through the hall, slightly ajar. Is that it? He pushed it open a little further. Yes. Thank God. 

He felt sick so he eased himself on the floor beside the toilet, still not completely aware if where he was or what was going on. The worst thing on his mind was that his dad may be here. He would hurt Josh. But Josh was good. Josh made things better. Tyler made things worse. He should be hurt, not Josh. 

The shaking became worse as his vision blurred as he became dizzy. What was he doing here? Where is this? What was going to happen to Josh? His stomach twisted into knot after knot and the nausea overwhelmed him as whatever room he was in began spinning and someone began calling his name in the distance and-

Black. Everything was dark. Quiet. Everything was silent. 

 

 

 

"Tyler? Ty, are you okay?" Josh knocked on the bathroom door again. 

Silence.

"Can I come in?"

No answer.

"I'm coming in, alright?"

Josh really didn't know what he'd expected, but that didn't stop him from a strong wave of consternation when he found his fawnlette crouched on the bathroom floor beside the toilet. The boy's tanned skin had gone pale, and his rosy, cherry cheeks as well.

He sunk to his knees, afraid to touch Tyler in case he was having a flashback, but he had no other choice. As gentle as he could, he nudged the brunette's shoulder. 

And quick enough, Tyler's doe eyes flew open, flooded with fear.

"Hey, you alright, Ty?"

"Josh? Joshie are you okay? Did- did he h-hurt you?"

"Tyler, who are y- oh. Baby he's not here."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Josh. I- I let him h-hurt you."

"It's okay. He's not here. He didn't hurt me, okay?"

Tyler heard Josh saying things, but he couldn't grasp what they meant. All he wanted to do was to apologize to Josh. 

Josh knew Tyler was having a flashback, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't help him. All he could do was watch him suffer, just like in Columbus. All he could do was hold him, and run his fingers through his hair, rock him back and forth, tell him everything was okay. They'd run across the country and that bastard was still torturing the innocent boy. 

 Once Tyler had calmed a little, Josh picked him up  shoulders resting on one arm, legs hanging from the other, head resting on Josh's neck. The older boy carried his fawnlette back to their bedroom, and laid him in the bed before going in after him and pulled the covers up all the way. Tyler subconsciously nestled as close to his lover as possible, his body needing some sense of protection. Josh smiled and wrapped an arm across the younger boy's waist. 

_We're gonna be okay. I promise._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hippity hop, my life's a flop  
> Happy Easter everyone


	12. "So how did you meet?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gather around children, Josh and Brendon are gonna tell us a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update. I wrote this chapter Friday afternoon but as soon as I finished it my internet crashed and I couldn't save it. I was so frustrated I didnt want to write Saturday, so here we are. I'm also probably going to rename all the chapters

Josh rolled over to wrap his arm around his fawnlette's waist, only to be greeted by an empty half of the bed. Tyler must be in the kitchen. He reached for his phone on the nightstand. 

_8:32 AM_

They'd been asleep for a while then. He should probably get up and go down to breakfast. He shrugged the sheets off and stood up, stretching his aching muscles before reaching for the nearest T-shirt of his to pull on before walking out of the bedroom. Before he went downstairs, Josh checked the bathroom for Tyler. Just to be sure...

A sigh of relief set itself free from his chest when he didn't find Tyler curled up on the floor in the state he had found him the night before.

Josh padded down the stairs and was lured into the kitchen by the amazing smells coming from it. That's where he found Ryan and Tyler seated at the table sipping on coffee while Brendon was (attempting to) flip pancakes. 

"Ayyyyy Josh" Brendon bellowed unecessarily loud.

Josh smiled. "Morning Brendon."

Josh walked up behind Tyler and planted a kiss in Tyler's hair, followed by an 'awwww' from Brendon and a blush from the chocolate eyed boy who received the kiss. Josh then sat down in a chair next to the now cherry cheeked brunette and wished Ryan a good morning.

After a small, somewhat conversation about the best brand of pancake syrup, Tyler sat up stiffly.

"Oh! By the way, Joshua William Dun, you've got some explaining to do." Tyler stated matter-of-factly.

Josh quirked up an eyebrow and smiled again at Tyler's utter cuteness, folding his arms over his chest.

"I do?"

"Mhm. I wanna know how in the world you know  _Brendon Urie."_

Brendon couldn't help to burst into laughter and Josh sunk in his seat, trying to refrain himself from doing the same.

Apparently, Ryan had no idea either because he was sporting the same confused look as Tyler.

"I don't get it. What's so funny?"

"J-Josh. Tell them- T-Tell them the story" Brendon wheezed.

Josh subsided his laughter the best he could."Ohohokay. So uh- I was sixteen. And I had a part time job at the bar in downtown Columbusssssahahaha-. So-my parents weren't exactly happy about it, but I told them we could use the money, and my friend's dad was the owner, so he'd make sure I was alright. And one dayyyhehehee- haha- one day I...hahAHAHA"

Brendon set the last pancake on the tray and tried his best to continue the story. "So I had been visiting a studio in Columbus that week, so me being the typical alcoholic I am, I went to that bar and got shitfaced. This was before I met Ryan, by the way. So UH-HAHHAHA I CAN'T FUCKIN DO IT" he screamed as he gripped the counter and doubled over. 

Josh again tried to the main point of the story, "I went into the supply closet in the back to get a dustpan and-and uh-"

Brendon cut him off. "HE WALKED ON ME DRUNKENLY DEEPTHROATING SOME GUY IN THE BACK OF THE BAR"

Tyler's eyes widened and Ryan's jaw plummeted. The reactions only fueled Brendon and Josh's laughing and by now they were both totally red in the face. 

Josh added to Brendon's abrupt statement reminding him "AND THEN I ASKED FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH!"

After they had calmed down a bit and wiped the tears from their eyes- yes, they were laughing to the point of  _tears-_ Brendon finished off the story.

"So the next month when I came back for a concert, I was doing a meet and greet and I knew Josh looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on where I knew him from. So I asked him if I knew him and he was like 'I was the guy that caught you sucking dick a month ago in the bar'. Long story short, we exchanged numbers and stuff and we've been friends ever since." 

"Oh my god" Tyler breathed softly. Ryan was (kneeling in the bathtub- sorry) grinning like an idiot attempting to suppress the huge amount of obnoxious laughter building up inside of him.

"So, that's how I know Brendon Urie."

Ryan couldn't help but mention "I think that's actually the best story I've ever heard"

"Anyway" Brendon chimed in (with a haven't you people ever heard of- I'll stop) "Who wants pancakes" he said, holding up the tray. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe


	13. This chapter kinda -sucks- ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been like two weeks.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> I'll make up for it in the end though, I promise you.

-Later that same afternoon-

 

"AY DUN, I'VE GOT A QUESTION" Brendon yelled from the bottom of the stairs. 

Josh walked to the railing and looked down. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you and Tyler would like to go to this resturaunt downtown tonight. Next to one if the casinos. I'll pay"

Josh 'tsk'ed. "I can't keep letting you spend money on us like this"

Brendon did a fake sassy hair flip."Bitch I'm a rock star. Just let me show off" 

Josh laughed. "Alright, alright I'll ask him"

 Josh went back down the hall to find Tyler. Hmm. Not there. 

Josh then looked around a few more rooms. Where the hell was he? 

After checking the bathrooms and den, he became worried. "Tyler? TYYYLLLEERRRRR?" He found Ryan in the living room scrolling through Netflix. 

"Hey have you seen Tyler?"

"Um..oh yeah. Last time I knew he was headed out back to the pool."

"Okay thanks"

 

Josh half jogged to the back door and stepped out onto the stone patio. A sigh of relief escaped him when he found Tyler seated on the side of the pool, skinny jeans rolled up, kicking around in the water and smiling like a kid.

"God, Tyler. I was looking for you everywhere"

The brunette hung his head. "M'sorry"

"No, no it's okay. I was just getting nervous. Anyways, Brendon wants to know if we want to go with him and Ryan to a resturaunt downtown tonight. I mean its up to you."

"Oh,um, okay. Sure"

"So you're up for it?"

"Yeah"

"Great! I'll tell him."

Tyler continued his splashing around with his feet in the water for a few minutes more before following Josh. 

"So is there any way we need to dress?" Tyler asked.

"I mean if you have something nice, I'd wear it. Otherwise, don't worry about it too much. Or you can borrow something from me or Ryan for now."

Josh thought for a second. "I'm pretty sure I brought a tuxedo shirt and maybe a pair of dress pants."

Tyler responded. "I think I may have something."

"Awesome! So what do you say we all leave here around...7:00?"

"Perfect" Josh and Tyler simultaneusly replied before looking at each other and giggling.

 "Alright then." Brendon smiled. 

 

 

Josh sat down on the bed and checked the time. It was only around 5 now, so they have plenty of time.

 After a 30 minute or so nap, Josh figured he better start getting ready. After dressing himself in a stiff-collared white button up, black slacks, and some decent leather shoes, he stayed in the bathroom attempting to tame his hair. Of course the curly cotton candy mess was being hard to cooperate with, but he eventually got it as neat as possible. 

Josh then sat on the bed again when he looked to see Tyler walk in adorned in black skinny jeans that hugged his perfect little heart shaped ass so beautifully, and a black muscle tee under a flowing floral kimono where you could see his slightly toned arms underneath the sheer black material as well as his pretty tanned, bronze skin peeking out from below the sleeves. His dick may or may not have twitched a little at the way this angelic boy looked. Josh probably stared a little too long, but he couldn't help it. This boy didn't just look cute, he looked fucking  _sexy._

Tyler looked up and bit his lip nervously. He starting to think it looked bad, or maybe the black vans were too casual, or maybe the jeans made his thighs look fat, or maybe-

"Y-you look,  _amazing._ " Josh breathed. Tyler like looked up again to comment on Josh's appearance as well, when he realized just how good that outfit really did look on Josh. The shirt's sleeves wrapping around his strong, bulging, muscular arms. Combining with the black pants, belt, and shoes, it gave him this authorative look. He didn't just look hot, he looked  _sexy._

"You look-  _really-_ good, too." Tyler blushed as the words left his mouth. Josh got up to walk over and kiss Tyler on the mouth,  _hard,_ whilst placing his hands on the smaller boy's hips.

"GUYS! YOU READY?!" They heard from downstairs. 

They pulled apart and Josh craned his head towards to door. "ON OUR WAY DOWN"

Brendon was in an outfit similar to Josh's. Ryan wore a black sweater with thin white stripes across it with a pair on black skinny jeans. Brendon made sure to lock the door on the way out. 

 

 

As soon as the group was seated in a booth, a waiter showed up asking for drink orders, wherein Brendon ordered a beer, Ryan a margarita, Josh some kind of limeade, and Tyler some strawberry flavored water.

As the food arrived, Tyler tried his best to conceal his amazement. He'd never been somewhere like here before. His family never had money to throw around on resturaunts and vacations, so all this was new to him. It felt like a TV show. The steaks were thick and tender, the salads were vivid in color, and the breadsticks were coated in garlic and butter.

A man walked in and sat down at a piano as a red haired girl took a spot beside him and began playing the violin. God, that sounded so  _beautiful._

Tyler looked over at Josh, whose eyes were glazing over and was parting his lips slightly. Josh then diverted his attention to the brunette, who immediately looked down and blushed from being caught. Tyler looked up again when Josh's hand reached under the table and took his, stroking it with the pad of his thumb as the waiter set the plates down on the table.

 

 

They made merry conversation while indulging their meals for an hour or so before asking for the check. Brendon refused on letting Tyler nor Josh see it or know how much it was because he was paying for it.

The car ride home was around forty five minutes. Ryan sat in the passenger seat while Brendon was behind the wheel. The first ten minutes were okay, but Tyler just could not stare at Josh enough. Brendon had the radio on and Lana Del Rey sang velvetly through the speakers. Josh was leaning his head against the window as the passing streetlights and blinking signs of Vegas illuminated his strong jawline, smooth cheeks, and thick lips.  _Fuck,_ this boy was dangerously attractive. Well, hot. Better than that,  _fucking sexy._ God, he could spend hours looking over every centimeter of that face. 

Josh went to glance at Tyler and noticed something. His pretty chocolate eyes had gone black and cheeks were stained the shade of wine. Tyler closed his eyes and threw his head back against the seat. Josh sunk his gaze towards Tyler's thighs....and between them, where Tyler seemed to have a uh - problem.

Josh smirked and snaked a hand towards one of the brunette's upper thighs and gripped it firmly. No matter how hard he tried, Tyler couldn't stop a tiny whimper of need escaping from his throat. The palm of his hand flew to cover his mouth as soon as he'd realized it. 

Brendon looked up in the rearview mirror and smiled, shaking his head a little, already knowing what was up. He handed his phone to Ryan and whispered something inaudible. 

Josh's phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Recieved (1) new messages_

_Brendon: Hey, Brendon said there's a pack of lube and condoms in the drawer of the nightstand in your room. Just in case you need it._

Josh looked up in the mirror and swallowed before mouthing a small 'thank you'. 

Tyler whined again. Josh's eyes widened as a certain area in his own jeans rose. 

 

The moment they walked through the door, Josh and Tyler wasted no time rushing upstairs. Brendon set his keys and coat down, chuckling to himself while Ryan stretched out on the couch, yawning and grabbing the remote.

The door clicked shut and Josh gripped the neck of the brunette's shirt and pushed him against the wall, kissing him hard. Tyler began gasping and moaning like hell. Josh broke away, putting his hands above either side of Tyler's head and pressing their foreheads together while Tyler grinded foward, desperate for some friction.

"Tell me what you want,  _baby boy"_ Josh whispered.

Tyler shuddered. 

 _"Please. Something, anything_."

Josh shed his button down shirt, shoes and pants before sinking to his knees in front of the shaking virgin. He fumbled with Tyler's zipper and tugged on his jeans before letting Tyler kick them off along with his shirt and kimono leaving him in a short pair of dampening black boxers. Tyler silently prayed Josh wouldn't pay too much attention to the scars and bruises that hadn't quite enough time to heal. But Josh was too focused on all the beautiful things about Tyler's body in the moment to notice. He hooked his fingers under the elastic and looked up at Tyler with a look that said 'is this okay with you?'. Tyler nodded and Josh proceeded with removing the last fabric barrier, allowing Tyler's erection to spring free from its painful restrictions. Carefully, Josh wrapped his fingers around the base and tugging them up and down a few times. 

 "Ready?"

_"Yes, Josh. Please"_

 Josh pressed his tongue along the underside of Tyler's dick and closing his mouth around it. 

The brunette gasped low and involuntarily thrusted foward whilst tilting his head back and whining again. Josh's whole world flipped. That was the only sound he needed to hear for the rest of his life. While the violin and piano at the resturaunt were beautiful, nothing could compare to the desperate whimpers filling the room now. Not even close. 

Both boys were in a completely different  _state of being._

 Josh moved his tongue all around the head and bobbed up and down, just listening to  _that sound._ Tyler tangled his fingers in Josh's forming bubblegum curls. Josh didn't mind one bit and just continued with doing what he was doing as Tyler gasped and moaned and everything in between as his eyes were blinded with the white light of pure euphoria.

"I'm- I- close-"

"Go ahead, babyboy"

Tyler yelled out a string of obscenities as a rope deep inside his stomach unwound itself and took the form of hot liquid shooting from him onto Josh's waiting tongue. Sure, he'd jerked off once or twice before as a teenager out of curiosity, but he didn't remember it  _ever_ being like  _this._

 _"fffuck"_ Tyler moaned, breathing heavily.

Josh grabbed his dirty tshirt from the floor a few feet away and wiped himself down where he hadn't caught it on his tongue, as well as the sweat beading from Tyler's chest while his fawnlette processed everything and calmed down. 

"Hey, how about we wait to shower in the morning and just sleep now?"

Tyler focused his attention towards Josh. "But, don't I need to, you know-for you?"

Josh shook his head. "Tonight was about you, okay? Besides, I kind of already uh-..."

"Oh"

Tyler slipped his black underwear back on and climbed into bed, falling asleep almost immediately while Josh turned to the dresser to change boxers followed by cutting off the light and laying down as well.

"I love you, so very fucking much." Josh whispered, even though he knew Tyler was asleep. It just felt right. 

He held Tyler again. But this time, not at 1 am in his room with moonlight flooding through the open window, nor in a splintering treehouse with moonlight flooding through the open window. This was a safe place with moonlight flooding through the blinds, casting lunar stripes across the dark bedroom.

Tyler was safe. That's all he needed to know to sleep peacefully.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO uh, this is my first smut *cringe* cut me some slack. I'd also like to note that as i wrote the end, my radio appropriately read my mind and played 'Daddy Issues' by The Neighborhood and 'Bite' by Troye Sivan. I wrote a long chapter to make up for not posting last week. Please tell me if this was cringey bc I'm very insecure and not confident AT ALL about posting it.


	14. NOT AN UPDATE BUT I REALLY NEED YOU TO READ IT

Don't worry, its nothing drastic. But I need opinions. So I've been thinking and I think I want to change the title of the story. When I originally planned out how I thought this fic would go, I named it to go with the plot. But I don't really want to go that direction anymore. I don't think the title really fits with where I plan to go now. This will probably result in a change to the summary as well. The idea of the fic will remain how its going now. I'm not going to change the way of the story, but just the title and summary. I really want to know what you all think about it. I cannot express how much I want to know your opinion on it so pleeeeeeeaaaase leave a comment. I really appreciate you all who actually took time to read something I created. It's a really weird feeling, actually. But I love you for it. Anyway, title change or no? <3


	15. The Weed Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically they all get high as fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my writing just gets shittier and shittier with each chapter.

-The next week, Wednesday night-

 

"ALRIGHT MOVIE NIGHT BITCHES" Brendon yells from the den. He, Ryan, Josh, and Tyler had all decided the were going to the movies that night since the local theater was doing a special showing of ' _The Breakfast Club'_.  When Ryan revealed he'd never actually seen it at breakfast that morning after Brendon told them about it, Josh nearly choked on his orange juice. 

_"You haven't seen it?! Ever?!" Brendon asked, purely shocked._

_"Nope. All I know is that its from the eighties." Ryan shrugged._

_"Its basically, a rite of passage for teenagers to see it." Brendon retorted._

_"I remember when Tyler watched it with me at my house once, and said his favorite character was the emo girl because she seemed like the sanest one there even though she was considered weird." Josh stated._

_"Well we are going to see it tonight because it's the greatest movie of all time and it's gonna be lit. Like the weed they end up smoking." Brendon announced matter-of-factly, murmuring the last part and smirking._

"WE'RE COMING" Josh calls down, tugging a NASA tshirt over his head and pulling a snapback over his hair while Tyler threw on a John Green quoted hoodie. 

As they piled into the car, Tyler snickered slightly, thinking about how comparable his situation was to the main character in  _Annie_ , moving in with a rich guy and now heading to the movies. Except he had Josh Dun, which was way better than the red headed little orphan's pathetic street dog. 

 

 

Not many people showed up, which was fine because none of the group really liked a crowded theater anyway. Throughout the movie, Brendon had one arm around Ryan, and one in his pocket, fiddling with some kind of plastic bag. Tyler noticed this, but didn't question it and simply kept his eyes glued to the screen, that is, when they weren't glued to the bubble gum haired boy sat beside him. 

 

The movie was great and Ryan was really glad he got to see such a staple in America's youth culture, but he knew what Brendon was planning. 

As soon as they made it into the car, Brendon pulled out the bag, exposing it to the cab light inside the car. 

"My children, have you ever had experience with uh, weed?" He smiled devilishly.

Josh thought for a moment. "I did it once, but I didn't get high."

Tyler looked as if he'd been asked to eat a cat. "A-As in, m-marijuana?" He stuttered.

Brendon laughed. "Nooo, I was gonna give you a gardening lesson. You know, pulling dandelions and shit. Of course I meant marijuana." He sarcastically replied, (but then again, when is he not sarcastic?) before laughing similar to a hyena.

"Um, well no. Not exactly." Tyler blushed.

"Oh this is going to be fun" Ryan smirked.

 

 

"Listen, I'm not an asshole..." Brendon started. Ryan raised his eyebrows at him. 

The four of them were seated on the carpet with their legs folded and criss crossed in the middle of the living room. Kinda like some sort of drum circle-tribal-sacrificial-coming of age-weed introduction ceremony or ritual or whatever.

"Okay well scratch that because we all know I'm a dick. But my point is that I'm not going to force you into drugs." He continued. "But if you wanna try it, you can. It's not like it's illegal here." He continued. "But it's completely up to you."

"I, uh, I think I want to try it. But I've never smoked anything before so I need you to show me." The only smoke he'd ever inhaled was secondhandedly as a result of his father's harmful habits.

Josh almost thought Tyler's innocence should be preserved for the sake of his adorableness. But alas, where's the fun in that? Tyler could literally be a drug dealing-stripper and he'd still be the cutest thing in the world. 

"Ah yes I see, virgin lungs" Ryan said, sounding sort of like the sensai from  _Karate Kid_.

Brendon rolled four joints and passed them out like some kind of sick kindergarten craft activity supplies.

"Josh I think you're holding yours right already. I'll just show Tyler." Ryan scooted over and took Tyler's hand, positioning the roll correctly between Tyler's fingers. 

"Now you go like this" he demonstrated, before letting the smoke plume from his mouth, "just hold it in, enjoy it a little bit and let go. Then you repeat."

Brendon was beaming like a proud mother at a YMCA soccer game. "MY BABY IS GROWING UP SO FAST." He wiped a fake tear from his cheek as Tyler brought the joint to his lips and Josh laughed. 

The brunette took a drag but went completely red in the face as soon as he had, choking and wheezing violently all the while Brendon cackled. 

"That's kind of cute actually." Josh giggled. "He couldn't hold it haha"

Tyler only blushed in embarrassment, which you couldn't tell because he was already pink from a lack of oxygen.

"Honey-booboo better watch her back. Tyler is about to jeapordize her title as America's cutest kid" Brendon joked.

Ryan took a drag. "TAKE THAT MAMA JUNE. YA BITCH" Everyone laughed. It was clear (unlike their sense of reality) the drugs were setting in now. The conversation topics were bouncing around and becoming more and more unrelated. 

"Heyy Ryannnn. Remember that time when, ahaha- I poured a bunch of milk in your asssss?" Brendon slurred.

Ryan giggled. "Duuude what the fucc? I don't remember that haha. You've been reading too much fan-story-shit."

"Dude, you mean fan fiction?" Josh corrected.

"Yeah, the fan-fuck or whateverrr"

Tyler had successfully been able to smoke a little, and was now feeling the effects of the marijuana himself. He leaned back against what he thought was the table, but there was no table and he fell onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Ayo I've got a song for you guysss. Ryan, get my keyboard."

"Mkay." He said before getting up and returning, setting it in Brendon's lap. 

"It's called 'The Weed Song'." Brendon announced. 

"How creative of you" Josh joked.

"Just shut the fuck up" Brendon laughed. "It goes like this."

_I just smoked some weed_

_It was some really good weed_

_But now I've got the munchies_

_I wanna find some food_

_And for some reason_

_I'm thinking of Honey-booboo_

_Ahahaaaaaaa_

_SECOND VERSSSSEE_

_I don't know how I'm feeling_

_A lot of things seem appealing_

_I think I got hit by a truck_

_Bruh I'm high as fuck_

 

 

Brendon wheezed as his hands slammed onto the keys, hitting a sour note and doubling over in a fit of laughter and coughing.

"Dude put that shit on the next album." Josh joked.

"Yeah you'll probably get record of the year or something at the Grammy's. They'll change it to the national anthem haha" Ryan added.

"Ok I think thats enough weed for tonight. Wait, where the fuck isTyler?"

The three of them peeked over behind couch simultaneously, where Tyler was laying face-up staring red-eyed at the ceiling. 

"I think I'm hearing colors..." was a all he had to say as Brendon, Josh and Ryan stared down at him over the top of the couch. 

 

"Yeah that's enough drugs for tonight" Ryan laughed. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell I don't know duck shit about how weed works. I grew up in a Baptist, Christian, Alabama home, okay? Cut me some slack XD


	16. All was golden when the day met the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd wrote this listening to Saturn by Sleeping at Last so I encourage you to listen while reading.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm regretting this already. It really isn't gonna be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST DAY OF SCHOOL IS OVER BITCH.
> 
> Also my best friend got me TABINOF for my birthday yesterday and I almost cried at school. XD

The pool lights gave off an aesthetic mermaid green glow under the black, glittery abyss of the the night sky. Tyler sunk beneath the water, becoming a dark silhouette and gliding across the pool to the underwater ledge where Josh sat. Josh smiled as the brunette stared up at him with a toothy grin and blew bubbles to the surface. Tyler rose as water trickled from his hair down his face and his shoulders.

"Swim with meeee" he pleaded. 

"nnggghhh. I don't wanna move" Josh whined. 

"Pleeease" Tyler pouted. 

Josh sighed. "You're lucky you're so damn cute" Tyler took his hand and pulled him through the water.

Tyler dove down and Josh followed suit. Honestly, if Josh wasn't holding his breath already, he would have when he took a look at Tyler swimming around. He'd never seen something so graceful. This boy looked so,  _peaceful;_ smiling like nothing else mattered; twisting and gliding so effortlessly; kicking softly and pushing through the glowing green-blue hue with his tanned arms.

Josh was so taken, in fact, it was only when Tyler floated toward the surface for more oxygen that Josh realized he too, desperately needed air, and awkwardly kicked and clawed his way up to breathe. 

Tyler pushed his hair back, getting it out of his face as Josh admired him. He was just so,  _beautiful._ There was no word in earthly vocabulary to describe how utterly heavenly this kid was; celestial, even. A gentle spray of freckles dusted on his cheeks like constellations. His chocolate eyes seemed deep enough to hold their own solar system. His long, fluttering eyelashes, thick as Saturn's rings. His teeth were like some kind of precious pearls from a moon pool. And his  _lips._ Oh, the way they'd put the most delicate of roses to shame. 

Tyler looked over to where Josh has laid back upon the water, letting himself sink a little before waving his arms and keeping himself afloat the water. The cool fluorescent light of it illuminating each curve and dip of his sculpted hips, and arms, and softly creeping its way down his thighs, making him look so beautifully, otherworldly.

But it certainly wasn't just his body that Tyler fell in love with, oh certainly not. There was no way to describe the soul Tyler had fell for. He just loved everything,  _Josh._  Until now, he hadn't wanted to let Josh in as much as part of his soul wished he could because despite the romanticized bullshit Hallmark movies claim, love is really fucking scary. Months ago, he'd tried his best not to let these feelings for Josh become more than a crush-kind of love. But the more nights Tyler snuck away to be in the safety of Josh, the harder he fell. In  _real_ love. As cliche as it sounds, there was no way to explain how Tyler felt about Josh. No words to express the sense of home and peace Josh brought upon his tortured soul. He calmed the troubled waters of his mind. He simply was not completed without Josh. 

"Hey I'm gonna get out, dry off, change, and maybe we can sit out here awhile. Okay?" Josh said.

"Mkay" Tyler replied. "I think I will too." 

They climbed up the ladder and walked up to the dimly lit patio and Josh grabbed a towel, handing one to Tyler also. 

They made their way back down to the patio once they'd changed; Tyler in a sweatshirt and shorts and Josh in shorts and a worn, faded, shirt from an old indie band called Neutral Milk Hotel. 

Lying on a blanket in the grass beside the pool, and staring up at Orion, and that was the moment Tyler found himself falling harder than ever before. He turned on his head over at Josh with half-lidded eyes, who returned it by blinking and doing the same, the corners of his lips pulling into a gentle smile. 

"What?" Josh whispered. His voice was kind of raspy, like Louis Armstrong. It sounded like paper. But not the sharp and crisp new kind, like old paper. Paper that was worn, but soft and strong because of the frayed fibers. It was a warm color. The edges and corners were bent and ripped a little to become the texture it was. The kind of paper you find in an old Bible that used to be your grandfather's that has made its home among broken picture frames and yearbooks from 1949 in your attic.

"Nothing. I just, can't explain it" Tyler replied.

"Well try"

"Well, uh...like this" the brunette sighed before rolling on top of Josh and pressing his lips to Josh's and kissing him deeply. Josh carded his fingers through the brunette's damp hair and slid a hand further down his waist while Tyler had both of his hands glued to his chest. And yes, it was intense, but it wasn't a hormone-driven sex kind of making out. This kiss was slow and sweet, like Alabama honey dripping from its combs in the summertime. 

And so they lay there pulled against each other, mouths moving together to tell a story of their own. Grips on the other's shirt becoming tighter, then loosening, and repeating again. Hums and sounds of bliss reverberating in their throats. Then this situation became less southern honey-like, and more, well, cinnamon. Less viscous, and more flavorful; less sweet, but spicier. No matter how tightly they pulshed themselves together, it wasn't close enough. Josh felt Tyler's erection starting to poke his thigh, and reached down the palm the younger boy through his shorts. And Tyler fucking  _whined._ Immediately, Josh could feel his own stomach tightening and arousal setting in. 

Josh broke the connection of lips.

"How far do you want this to go?" He murmured.

_"All the way"_

"Bedroom, sweetheart" Josh cooed.

Tyler stood up on shaky legs and Josh lifted him by the waist, letting Tyler wrap his legs around his middle.

 

And here they were. 

Breath?

Shaky.

 

Shirts?

Gone.

 

Shorts?

Gone.

 

Boxers?

Lord knows where they ended up.

 

All that was left?

The bubble gum boy and his celestial lover. 

 

Josh layed the brunette on the bed and raked his eyes down the stunning body before him.

"Oh Ty, you're  _so pretty"_

Sure he'd seen all of Tyler, but never all at one time. And if Josh would've had to make the choice, he'd happily choose to only lay his eyes on this for the rest of time. 

And if Tyler wasn't already flustered, he sure as hell was now. No one had ever seen so much of him before, let alone dared to call him pretty. He didn't ever even associate the word with himself. He was always just an ugly, disgusting faggot to his dad. 

Josh slowly moved toward the bed and climbed onto it, hovering above Tyler. 

"You believe me?" He whispered.

Tyler looked away guiltily. He didn't. He wanted to believe Josh, but he just couldn't. 

 Josh frowned at first. 

"Okay" he smiled then."I guess I'll just have to show you what I mean."

Josh started at his neck, and made a journey down, leaving more constellations on Tyler's body. But not the damaging kind his father had given him with bat and lash, but these stars were love bites. The bubble gum boy kissed and nipped, each one of these marks making a promise to never let this kid be hurt ever again without needing words. 

And leaving one more kiss on the night sky he'd created on this precious, innocent boy's stomach, he reached over to the nightstand. 

 

 

 

They were finally as close as they wanted to be. This whole time they could only wish to feel like this. To be virtually one. No more boundaries. No more distance separating their two planets. It seemed like the world stopped. It seemed like the entirety of the universe revolved around the center of this room where a virgin had his lover thrust deep inside him for the first time. No matter how much Tyler begged for more, Josh remained slow and sweet. Never going any faster or harder than he knew his fawnlette could handle.

_"ah-ah J-Josh I think- I'm gonna- ah"_

_"It's okay. Come when you're ready."_

_"I love- you Josh. Ss-so much-I-I'm, ah"_

With that, Tyler came over both of their chests, screaming to the stars and not caring how loud he was. He wanted the entire sky to know how  _good_ Josh made him feel. And Josh followed seconds after, stilling his hips as the adrenaline of his orgasm flooded every system of his body.

" _I love you too"_

 And the planets aligned, the stars crossed, and the sun and the moon slowed. 

And Tyler found himself falling even harder.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might edit this later
> 
>  
> 
> *cringe*


	17. NOT A CHAPTER BUT I NEED YOU TO READ #2

Okay so its been a week or so since I updated. And it may be either a couple more days, to three weeks until I do.

I really don't like this either because I'm afraid if I leave this for like a month everyone will lose interest. But I'm working at VBS next week and helping with setting up for it this week. The week after that I'm going to be in Tennessee for camp and probably won't have much time there to write.

But I'll try to write within these next few days when I can.  I'm really sorry and hope you can forgive me <3


	18. Someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY LOOK I GOT A CHAPTER IN.  
> It's not a very good one but I mean its not like there are any very good chapters in this fic anyway so XD.

Josh was awoken by a tightening in his abdomen and a wonderful, hot, wet feeling around his dick. He looked down and saw a lump under the blankets bobbing up and down and  _oh did it feel good._

"T-Ty? Sshit"

There was no verbal response but instead a harder pulling feeling around him as Tyler sucked him harder, hollowing his cheeks and trying his best to fit all of Josh in his mouth.

" _mmmm-fuck. ohmygoshbaby you're-ah- so good- so fucking good holy sshhit. mmph fuck"_

Tyler remained a silent save a small moan that vibrated around of Josh's cock. Tyler also remained completely under the covers as Josh gripped his hair underneath them and came, releasing his heat mostly into his mouth, but spilling out a bit as a mix of cum and saliva running down Tyler's chin. He swallowed as much as possible, he heard that a lot of guys think it's hot when you do that, so maybe Josh would like it. He wanted to at least try make Josh feel as good as Josh made him feel last night, although that may be on the brink of impossible.

Tyler peeped up out of the covers innocently to see if Josh had liked it. His head was thrown back and his eyes were closed, his hair was curling at the ends and he was breathing heavily.

"W-was it okay?" Tyler meekly asked. 

"Okay? Okay?! That was like the best thing ever! Although you really didn't have to do it if you didn't want to, you know."

"N-no. It's okay. I liked it too." Tyler blushed.

"Do you need me to suck you?" Josh smirked.

"Uh-um, no. I k-kind of already uh-yeah..." Tyler stuttered.

"Well I'm happy you got enjoy it too. Tell you what, how about we shower and eat, then maybe go to the park?"

Tyler nodded excitedly. There was a park a couple minutes away by walking. They had a big beautiful pond and lots of fish and trees and birds, and a playground for kids. Tyler knew all this because Brendon and Ryan had taken them a couple weeks ago just to get out of the house. It wasn't very busy there either, so there weren't too many who recognized Brendon. So this park was a great place to go for fun. 

                              ----------

There was a short hiking trail leading through a woodsy area in the park that both boys thought would be nice to take. As the dirt and rocks under their shoes crunched, the sun filtered into individual rays through the thick foliage high above them. It was almost silent, save the song of a few birds and the faint noise of some kids laughing and yelling at the playground. This was enlightening. There came an old wooden bridge arching over a running stream to a short path branching off to the playground. Tyler grabbed Josh's hand and pulled him over the bridge and through that path, landing them in a shaded area where there was a rusty swing set. This one had been moved aside and replaced with a new one to prevent kids from accidentally cutting themselves on the old metal, but it still worked and was used by teenagers and adults who sat to watch their kids. 

 Tyler sat down in one excitedly and patted the other swing next to him. Josh grinned and sat down, wrapping his fingers around the chains and staring to kick his legs a bit. The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching some four and five year olds chase each other up baby ladders and through plastic tunnels, occasionally chuckling at a particularly adorable little girl who refused to go down the slide because it scared her. 

Josh noticed how most of these kids would come and have never seen each other before, but didn't hesitate to push each other in the swings or play with one another intently, not questioning anything. And when they'd have to leave they were sad and would hug like they'd been friends for years. Why aren't adults like that? It's like we just seem to analyze and avoid strangers, because we are judgemental or afraid to branch out. We're all stranger creatures than when we all started out as kids.

Tyler spoke and smiled softly. "I remember when I was about this age, Zach, Dad, and I were throwing a frisbee at the park, but it landed in the lake. So then Zach just jumped in without hesitation and brought it back like a dog or something and we couldn't stop laughing enough to tell mom why Zach was soaking wet when we got home." And he began to laugh a little, as did Josh. 

Tyler sighed. "I really miss him."

Josh leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. "I know you do. But you've just got to remember everything happens for a reason."

"I know." Tyler breathed. "I'm sorry for bringing this up. We a should just be enjoying our day."

Josh grabbed Tyler's hand. "Don't be sorry okay?. Any time I spend with you I enjoy."

"Josh you're so cheesy" Tyler giggled. 

"Mhm so you better like dairy" Josh kissed his hand.

 

Tyler lit up with pure joy as one girl around three or so with the cutest natural afro, long eyelashes, and big, beautiful brown doe-eyes ( _Just like Tyler's,_ Josh thought) wandered over to where they were sitting a tugged on the hem of Josh's shirt.

"Hello mister. I like your nice pink hair. That is my favorite color." She said, pronouncing her R's a little wonky, as these adorable creatures called toddlers do. She grinned and Tyler gushed over how her eyes got all squinty like Josh when he smiled.

"Aw hi there. And thank you very much! I like the color pink too." Josh happily replied and the girl giggled. 

"What's your name? I'm Tyler and this is Josh" Tyler motioned towards Josh. 

"My name is Daja"

"That's a beautiful name. It's very nice to meet you, Daja." Josh cooed. 

Off halfway across the playground, a female voice called her name. Probably her mother. 

"Oops. I have to go. Bye Mister Josh and Taylor" she waved and ran off. Tyler giggled and smiled at the way she mispronounced his name. 

 "Bye Bye!"

 

Tyler let his head fall back and he stared up. "I can't wait to have kids."

Josh smiled at him. "Me either. Someday maybe we will."

Tyler lifted his head and grinned. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. Now come on, we should probably go. The sun's starting to set."

Tyler stood and stretched. "Yeah you're probably right. Let's go"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went from a shitty blowjob smut to shitty fluff about children in the same chapter....listen, lemme tell you it has been a fucking week.


	19. "I have something to tell you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon gets a call from Ohio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back from the grave bitch

Josh and Tyler walked into the kitchen, ready to help make dinner for everyone after their day in the park, but instead furrowed their brows in confusion and concern upon seeing Brendon in a state of distress. 

Brendon was leaning on the counter, supporting himself with one arm gripping the countertop and the other holding the housephone to his ear.

Tyler knew something was up when Brendon replied into the phone solemnly "Yes sir I'll tell him when they get back." and hung up.

"Brendon, what's wrong?" Tyler asked.

Brendon stayed leaning on the counter, shaking a bit and staring down, facing away from Josh and Tyler behind him. He shook is head a little and inhaled deeply before lifting his head and turning around with an 'I don't know how to say this so you probably need to sit down' kind of look. 

Josh looked at him. "Brendon who was that? What's wrong?"

"I- I don't know how to uh tell you this. So you- you probably need to breathe a minute before I tell you um.."

"Alright man, this isn't funny. What is it?" Josh replied with a shaky voice.

"Oh yeah trust me I know this isn't fucking funny." Brendon snapped. "Sorry, it's um...th-that was the Columbus police"

Tyler's heart immediately sank to his stomach as all of the blood in his body felt like it was being drained from him and his heart was only pumping air.

"W-what is it?" Josh breathed.

"Tyler, it uh seems that...um.." Brendon choked in an unstable and congested sounding voice. "Your father has..he's been missing. For a month...and they found h-him. In his bedr-room. Sh-ssshot himself."

Tyler was being suffocated. His body wasn't getting any oxygen and was struggling to breathe as if he'd run a marathon and was breathing through a straw.

This couldn't be true.

It  _can't._

Without even realizing it, Tyler bolted out the door they had just come through.

Josh started right out after him, and Brendon followed suit, trying to figure out which way Tyler was going.

 Tyler started running before his legs had the chance to give out beneath him. He ran out the back door and didn't realize he was even going anywhere. It felt, surreal. Like some messed up alternate reality. Like a nightmare. Everything was just a blur. Tyler didn't know what he was doing. He wasn't even aware he'd left the house. His mind ran faster than he was as rough, thick ropes were wrapping around and crushing his lungs. Intertwine with his ribcage and tightening until he felt like his bones cracking. His insides were on fire. 

But he didn't stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been like 4 months and im sorry. I haven't been in a good place and maybe i'll go into more detail later. sorry


	20. "I'm afraid I can't"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wah 5 months went by pretty fast. I changed to title back to its original.

_Brendon held his arms up in surrender._

_Josh dropped to his knees and spoke slow and steady as he could._

_"Tyler. It's not your fault, please, just, come back home."_

_Tyler trembled violently and swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to look down._

_"josh"_

_"Yes baby?"_

_"c-ome here"_

_Josh slowly got off the ground, and ever-so-carefully made his way to the railing._

_Tyler took one hand off and Josh went to grab him, but Tyler put the hand on Josh's cheek and held his face._

_"josh. josh, you. you're the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I'll always love you and I hope I'll see you again"_

_"Tyler don't fucking do this to me please im begging you, godammit! It'll get better, you'll heal, just come home please i fucking promise. I need you. Promise me you won't leave me."_

_"i love you josh."_

_"I love you too. So fucking much."_

_Blue and red lights flashed across Tyler's face and reflected in his dark, sweet, doe eyes as he glanced at them.Tears slipped slow like honey nectar._

_"but im afraid i can't"_

_And like a baby bird not yet ready to fly..he fell._

_You will hear no pain, no desperation, no prayer, no plea, as broken as the scream that came, ripping and raw, from every cell of the cotton candy haired boy's body, chest, mind, but most importantly, his heart._

_He screamed up at the sky, cursing the Lord for not giving his angel the wings he needed to fly, or be alive._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw im not trying to romantacize suicide by any means. its not poetic, its not beautiful.


End file.
